As a parent, do you think about the spouses you are raising? A spouse can be either a great blessing or a great curse. One of my goals in life is to raise Godly offspring who will be wonderful husbands and wives. Before I was married this was something I thought of in theory, but now that we’re coming up on six years of marriage, I think about it in terms of practice.
So today I’m going to share a list of characteristics that I’m attempting to instill in my children. It’s not an exhaustive list, and I’m sure I’ll add to it as the years go by and my experience with raising children increases.
1. most important of all – I want to raise children who are saved from their sins and have received the gift of eternal life.
2. the next most important goal, in my opinion, is to raise children who honor their parents. “Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (Ephesians 6:2-3) I don’t just want my children to honor me so as to make my life easier and more pleasant. I want them to do it so that they will be blessed, not cursed. Honor of parents is a rare character trait, even among people who teach their children this commandment. And most of the time, when you observe someone dishonoring their parents, it won’t be long before you also observe bad things happening in that person’s life. I want my children to live long, loving, joyful, peaceful lives, and that won’t happen if they don’t honor their father and mother.
Now on to the more gender-specific lists!
For my daughters:
1. I want them to learn to be submissive, and to treat their husband with respect because they are commanded to, not because he has to earn it. This is not easy and requires a strong, virtuous character.
2. I want them to be fully confident in their identity in Yeshua – that they would see themselves as daughters of the King, and know the worth that they have, not through their own righteousness, but because of His. I want them to be able to recognize and reject the advances of worthless men who want to take advantage of them, and yet will not respect and value them.
3. I want them to have the proper balance of appreciation for their own beauty and to care about their outward appearances as representatives of their earthly and heavenly fathers, while also cultivating the inner beauty of a meek and quiet spirit which is valuable in God’s sight.
4. I want to train them to be skilled homemakers, to care for their health in preparation for child-bearing, and to be servants in their families and communities.
5. I want them to recognize and acknowledge the feminine weakness of being controlled by one’s emotions, and to pursue self control of their emotions and the ability to think reasonably.
For my sons:
1. I want them to be adventurous and fearless. So many men today are cowards and I don’t want my daughters-in-law to have cowards for husbands. I want my sons to be ready to take on the world, to defy the odds, and know that nothing is impossible with God.
2. I want them to have self control. Grown men who do not have self control hurt the people around them. I am determined that my boys will be taught to hear and respect “no” at a young age, and that they will learn to tell themselves “no” as they mature.
3. They will learn how to honor me, and in so doing, will learn to honor their future wives. Not only are they commanded to honor their mother, but they’re also commanded to honor their wives and live with them in understanding (1 Peter 3:7) I will not tolerate the attitude that can be common in boys and young men, where they think their mother is stupid and they’re so much smarter than her. Boys who treat their mother this way will have a tendency to dishonor their wives in the same way.
4. We will embrace and celebrate the masculine virtues of independence, stubbornness, strength, and fierceness, while training them to practice these things in a way that honors God.
5. I want them to learn to treat women with dignity (even the ones who behave in a disgraceful manner) and not objectify them, while at the same time not being snared by the evil women who lay traps for young men.
As a mother, it has become more and more apparent that our most important duty is to raise little disciples and that if we fail to do so, our children will bring us shame.
Well said Hannah. And I think Laurie did a good job, wouldn’t you say?
Yes I think she did 😊
You and your siblings were such a wonderful example of everything you want to I still.in your own children. I was always amazed at how polite, well-mannered, respectful, obedient and attentive you all were. I remember one time Jim and I came to visit, your parents were not there yet and you girls were busy getting lunch ready. No one having to tell you what needed to be done, and all working together well with no grumbling or having to be told what to do.
Another to.e we were there and your mom and I were talking when she turned and asked Samuel to go get her a bag of potatoes from I can’t remember where. Samuel instantly got up and went to do as she asked. No whining, not huffing, no rolling his eyes and no hesitancy. When we would all sit down to talk, all of the children would sit around listening attentively and would add to the conversation or ask questions. Your family is such a blessing to know! I believe if you raise your children as you and your siblings were raised, you will do very well. All of you have grown into godly men and women. Blessings to you and your family!